Hello, my name is Siu. It is Chinese Cantonese for “small”. It sounds like the sill from ‘window sill’ except that you say the last ‘l’ sound softly and almost like a ‘w’ ie. “siw” . For the first forty years of my life I have been known as ‘Maureen’. This name means “bitterness; “rebellious” and “wish for a child”. Since I gave birth to my son “Isaac” I sense in many ways that God has been restoring a lot of the brokenness in my life. I am from a family where there has been at least two generations of abandonment that I am aware of. I grew up the unwanted second disappointing daughter in a Chinese family which hated girls. Girls were another mouth to feed. They would one day go off and get married and then have nothing to do with the family! They were to earn their keep!
I remember my mother telling me that she had being given a knife at the age of seven and being told to use it to learn how to tap and collect rubber sap very early in the mornings from 3am in the jungle of Borneo. She said she nearly lost an eye the first time she tried to use it.
As a child my hair and my sister’s hair were cut like a boys style until I was about 12 years old. Two brothers came after me. And with a creative pretty older sister who enjoyed being the centre of attention, and knew how to cook and present as well, I grew up as the invisible child. It wasn’t until my parents came to visit my son their first grandchild doting on him for at least 30 minutes without saying hi or goodbye to me that RAGE erupted out of me like a volcano!
In 2009 I had heard about a Chinese friend of mine who had insomnia and deep depression. She could hear voices. They would tell her that she was stupid. That she should commit suicide. If she said SHUT UP to these voices they would YELL back at her SHUT UP!! She had heard about the prayer deliverance ministry at Haberfield Baptist. And after running to have a prayer session she was miraculously able to have peace without hearing the voices anymore. And best of all ..sweet.. sleep!!!
As rage was such an issue in my life I made an appointment to see Pastor Greg Beckenham.
Being 10 minutes late to the appointment I must have said “SORRY” at least 15 times in 2 minutes. The first thing he said to me is: “Why are you saying SORRY so many times??? I am lifting this spirit of rejection off you right now!! You were an unwanted daughter in an Asian family. I physically felt like something had been removed from me. It was amazing as I no longer felt I had no right just to be. That I could sit down and that it was OK to have a talk to someone and that I had permission to be myself.
Many things were dealt with. A fear channel was broken off my life. A prayer for my face was given up. I had believed for most of my life that I was so ugly after my mum took me to the GP to ask him to westernise my face as a six year old child, lift the nose bridge, enlarge the sleepy looking eyes, that didn’t have folds. But after the prayer for my face WOW!!! I felt free as a bird!! Felt like NOW IS THE TIME TO ARISE and FLY.
And now I have learnt to call God Father from my heart and it is a new identity that He is teaching me to walk in right now that carries favour and destiny purpose and great significance. Check out ballerina peg’s face that I painted before and then the Lord used the Haberfield’s prayer deliverance ministry to remove the fear channel from my mind so that creativity could be released.
Father God has been teaching my how to build my worth and identity based on the promises in His Word via Faith. He has been in the business of healing my body, mind and spirit. Now He is has been teaching me that I should earnestly desire the gift of prophecy and I have seen first hand how this changes lives so powerfully.